Asami Alone
by Junamrsgrl
Summary: The title says it all. My interpretation of events directly post Ch 9. Feel free to review :


**A little more Asami angst to add to the pile...threw this together this morning because I've been dying to write, but seem to be lacking in inspiration for something new and interesting. This isn't my normal style, writing about a topic that countless other writers have tackled, but I couldn't help myself. I know they may not seem in complete character here; I wasn't entirely comfortable writing this, I'll be honest. But hopefully, some people will enjoy reading it anyway. Please feel free to leave a review :)**

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Asami stood at the stern of the boat, taking in the salty tang of the air and letting the sound of rushing water soothe her as best it could as she watched Air Temple Island slowly recede into the distance. She had hoped, more than expected, that someone, anyone, would come running down the dock, shouting for her not to leave. That someone might have noticed her absence. Like she was important. Integral, even.

She hoped that _he_ would come after her.

But she knew it wouldn't happen. It had been all too easy for her to slip away relatively unnoticed, even in the middle of the day, in the midst of all that was going on. Tenzin and Pema were busy with their children on top of their worry for Korra, who they treated very much as one of their own. Mako and Bolin spent most of their time standing in Korra's doorway. Nobody was paying enough attention to see Asami just...slip away.

She took only the one small bag with her on her return home, to the mansion that she'd grown up in and known all her life. That glaringly silent and empty mansion, now that her father had been arrested and most of the servants had been let go. The thought of returning there, alone, was not something she looked forward to. But it was better than staying where she wasn't wanted. It didn't matter though; for all her love of things and her seemingly material nature, she was a survivor at heart. And she knew that getting away from the whole situation, putting some distance between her and all of her closest friends, was necessary for her survival right now. Ever since Korra had been found and brought home, the air on the island had become oppressive, stifling. The sea air was clearing some of that away though. She found every breath coming easier the farther the boat took her.

She thought back to her encounter with Tenzin mere moments ago, the only one she had run into on her way out. He'd taken one look at her bag and the grim, determined expression she wore and his eyes immediately acknowledged her departure. She thought they might have softened a little in compassion and for a moment she was scared that he might try to stop her, or at least find out what was wrong. If he had, she might have been talked into remaining, her resolve crumbling. In the end, he'd simply said, "May the spirits go with you, Asami," and with a nod, continued on his way. She was relieved and disappointed all at once. But she knew it wasn't Tenzin's way to try to force someone against their will. If she had encountered Mako, or even Bolin...

But Tenzin surely knew what she was running from. He knew that she had been dating Mako, and he'd seen firsthand Mako's reaction to the news of the Avatar's capture. He'd been there when Korra had been found, battered and bloody, exhausted and beaten looking. He'd seen Mako shove everyone out of the way to get to her, the worry and panic etched on his features plain for everyone to see. Tenzin had been the only one who had noticed Asami's stricken expression while she watched _her_ boyfriend carry Korra off, like a white knight coming to the fair maiden's rescue. And it was hard to miss the fact that Mako haunted Korra's door, waiting for her to recover her strength. She even knew that all of Mako's actions were likely unconscious, but that didn't make them hurt less. She just wanted to get away, be on her own to wallow in misery and have a good cry, while she decided what should be done.

Asami's confusion knew no bounds...she was hurt, bewildered, feeling very unimportant. It was a new sensation, as lowering as it was to admit that. Growing up the sole focus of her successful father's attention, there wasn't much she wanted for, or ever had. She'd never realized there was any emotional hole to fill until she'd met Mako...and all the people he came with as well, she could admit to herself. She'd never had much success at being friends with other girls until she'd met Korra, so this...thing... between Korra and Mako had her feeling doubly confused. All the guilt of feeling a sort of possession for her boyfriend mixed with the relief that Korra had been found and was relatively unharmed. All of the awkwardness that ensued with the people she'd come to view as a sort of makeshift family.

And so she had made her choice, whether Mako knew it or not yet. She couldn't bear to be in the middle of whatever connection he and Korra had, watching them try to resist that obvious attraction for the sake of what's right. And she had no desire to play second fiddle, never knowing but always suspecting that he might still be attracted to the Avatar. It was an irreparable breach of her innocence, her trust, even if it hadn't been inflicted purposely. Later, she would probably reflect that this was a growing experience for her, a sorely needed one. But for now, she just let the hurt of a broken heart wash over her.

It was some time later when Bolin found her at home. He wasn't sure he was the best one to be here right now but he had volunteered to intercede on his brother's behalf, because everyone was so miserable and he was a nice guy like that. Plus, he felt bad about spilling the beans about that kiss yesterday. What had he been thinking? Any idiot could see there was something happening between Mako and Korra, and Asami was no idiot.

And so here he stood, a little nervous and feeling like he might lose his lunch, waiting for the door to open. He almost gave up, thought maybe he had been wrong about her returning here, when the door didn't open right away. He sighed with relief and ran a hand through his messy hair. Just as he started to turn away, the door behind him cracked open. He stood up straight, expecting it to be the butler that had manned the door the few times he'd been over here. He was surprised to see Asami herself peeking out the door.

"Asami, hey...How's it going?" he asked in an awkward kind of voice as he rocked back on his heels. She opened the door a little wider. Her face was red and blotchy and she wasn't wearing any of the makeup she usually wore.

"Are you all alone here?" he asked, immediately worried and looking behind her into the house for signs of life.

"Bolin," she said in an odd voice, like resignation over hope. "You might as well come in. How's Korra?" She looked down at the floor as she asked.

"Korra's fine," he said dismissively. "Why did you leave? Y'know, Mako went a little crazy when he found out you were gone. Like, I thought he was going to swim all the way over here. I've never seen him so...out of control," he said, remembering the barrage of angry firebending that Mako had let loose when he discovered Asami had left without saying a word.

"Hmm," she said a little bitterly, with a slight roll of her eyes. "If he's so worried, why are you standing in my foyer and not him?"

"That was my fault," he replied quickly. "I told him not to worry, that I'd go make sure you were ok. I thought it might be best...in light of the situation."

"Hmm," she said again. There it was. The situation.

"So are you...y'know? Ok?" Bolin asked as he shifted his weight, almost as if afraid of the answer.

Asami stared at him, expressionless, for a moment.

"Go back to the island, Bolin. Tell Mako I'm fine. I just need space."

Bolin stood there, an unusually severe expression on his face.

"Are you sure you won't come back with me? Tenzin said you probably wouldn't, but..."

"No, Bolin," she said decisively. "Things are just a little too...intense right now. I need my space...and they do too," she said as an afterthought as she turned away.

"Asami," Bolin said, a little dismayed. "I know things are, uh, a little...weird right now, but chin up. You're one great gal, and my brother knows it."

Unable to help herself, Asami chuckled. "Thanks Bolin. You're a good friend. And a great brother," she said and gave him a hug. "I'll be fine. But thanks for coming to check on me anyway."

She turned away again and exited the room, leaving Bolin standing there wondering how he was going to deal with Mako now.


End file.
